You may be reading this for help or just for entertainment; either way, I hope you take something from this! This post is something I started writing a little bit into marriage- At the time of writing this, I am now four months past our 2nd anniversary and still find this to be true. Some people say you cannot give marital advice if you have been married less than 5 years, but I do not necessarily see that to be true. I also think you approach marriage differently when you see so many relationships fail.. but that is a story for another time.
A couple of things should be considered before getting married. One example would be… wedding or no wedding? Or even elopement? Planning a wedding can be very stressful, so that is something to consider even with a choice that seems so simple.
My two main pieces of advice for marriage are the following:
One:
Your wedding day is just a day; focus on your marriage because it is for a lifetime! You may be asking yourself, What does that mean? Well, let me tell you! Yes, your wedding day may have been fun, memorable, and spectacular, but it is just one day. Or maybe it was not a good day; so many things went wrong… but when you think on it just being one day it brings a new perspective. You will be with your spouse for your entire life and should enjoy each other outside of that one day. It is the beginning of a lifetime!
There will be ups and downs, and you should not look back at your wedding day and expect every day to be like that day. Your love grows and changes as you learn about your partner, so why would you want it to be the same as the beginning?
That day is unrealistic for all of marriage, whether it was good or bad. Some days in your marriage will be like your wedding day, but others will not! I am not saying you will not have any more spectacular days in your marriage if that is how the day went, but they will not all be like that day. And heck, if your wedding day did not go as planned and was not so great, you can only go up from there! You will have amazing easy days and some hard, not-fun days, and a mixture of both!
Did you have unrealistic expectations for your marriage because of your wedding? Did you not? Did you not have a wedding? How do you think that changed anything? I would love to know all your thoughts on this!
Two:
As for my husband and I, we think we had realistic expectations for marriage, and we were smart going into marriage. We talked about everything you could imagine. Literally everything!! The good, the bad, and the ugly.
That is one I highly suggest for anyone considering getting married- ask your significant other every question you can think of! It would be best to have the same core values and beliefs in all areas for marriage. Come arguing, children, knowing their love language, what irritates them, etc.
I have not been married for a long time, but this advice has worked for my husband and me, and even some friends.
So remember, focus on the lifetime and not just the wedding day!