Have you ever asked yourself- “Why am I complaining?” I’m sure we have all experienced becoming annoyed by our spouse or partner a time or two…. or maybe more if some are honest. 😆
I knew I did not want to be the nagging wife when I got married. I constantly heard (and I’m sure some of you have to!) the “Just wait until your husband does XYZ, or XYZ, or XYZ, and so on.” You hear examples of them leaving their clothes on any surface besides the hamper, not cleaning up toothpaste from the sink, or not helping with household tasks. The question I asked myself was, “Why does everything have to be turned negative?”.
But guess what!? It doesn’t!
YOU get to decide. YOU get to choose how you are going to be. I decided not to let the clothes bother me. I decided that. I decided to have a 5 minutes of peace rule, as I like to call it. If it takes me less than 5 minutes to do a task, I don’t complain about it.
Now, you might be thinking, this is crazy! 5 minutes is a lot of time!
The thing is, there are limitations to this rule. For some tasks, there is a principle. So, this doesn’t apply to specific allocated tasks. One task that is my husband’s is the trash. Can the trash take me less than 5 minutes? Yes, in most cases. Does that mean I will be the one to do that because it can take less than 5 minutes? No. Because it is his specific task. Just like laundry, it is more of my task.
However, we sometimes help each other with “our” tasks because we are in a partnership. The bathroom cleaning is different; sometimes, we trade off. (That is a task that should take more than 5 minutes.)
Now, I know many people will have problems with this rule and not agree, and that’s okay. You don’t have to implement this rule- I am just sharing something that works for my husband and me.
I don’t enjoy the negativity people like to have around marriages. Heck, life in general.
Instead of the “just you wait until” being negative, why don’t we make it positive? Let’s turn the “just you wait until” into Just you wait until one day you are fixing the bed with your husband and you realize it is a full circle moment for you. Or when you need someone and know they will be your shoulder to cry on and the strength you need to complete the day. Or just simply someone to be there in your presence.
Or (for many) just wait until you raise a family with the person you love. So many “just you wait until”s like that that make me excited to experience one day.
The big and the mundane. All so special in their own way.
Why don’t we stop complaining about every little thing and start being thankful for everything? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!
What are some things you look forward to? What can you turn from negative to positive?!